Patient: "Doc, I am very stressed out and I am not getting proper sleep at night."

Doctor: "I am giving you some medicines and sleeping pills."

Patient: "Is this going to help?"

Doctor: "Yes, just give it to your wife before going to bed."

Dad was angry when he saw that his son scored a zero in math.

"Son, can you explain this to me?"

"Well dad, the teacher didn't have any stars left to give me, so she gave me a moon!"

A beer is like the sun...

It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist!

A wife complained, “You never listen to me. You only hear what you want to hear...”

The husband replied, “Sure honey, I’ll have a beer.”