What does a tree drink?

Root beer.

Wife: I have a bag full of used clothing I'd like to donate.

Husband: Why not just throw it in the trash?

Wife: But there are poor starving people who can really use these clothes.

Husband: Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving.

And that's when the fight started....

Photographer: "Now say cheese!!!"

Dumb Girl: "Actually, I am dieting, so can I say oats or something that's a little healthier?"

Boy: "How old are you?"

Girl: "I'm not saying. You know, you shouldn't ask a girl her age."

Boy: "Oh, okay. By the way, what's your email address?"

Girl: "It's suzie1993@gmail.com, why?"