As I get older I realized....

I talk to myself, because there are times I need expert advice.

Picked up a hitchhiker the other night and he asked me, "How did you know I was not a serial killer?"

I replied, "The chances of two serial killers in the same car are astronomical."

The recent volcano eruptions in Kilauea and Volcan de Fuego prompted representatives all over the globe to have an Earthquake Summit.

When San Adreas arrived everyone point fingers and said, "It's your fault!"

Little Anne came running into the house after the school one day, shouting, "Daddy! Daddy! I got 100 in school today!"

"That's great sweetheart!" said her daddy.

"Come into the living room and tell me about it," daddy continued.

Little Anne said, "Well, I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math and 20 in science."