The pastor who had accepted an invitation to officiate at the Sunday service in a neighboring towns church. He entrusted the Sunday service at his church to the new appointed curate. Upon his return he ask his wife what she thought of the curate's sermon.

"It was the poorest one I ever heard," was her prompt reply, "nothing in it at all."

Later in the day he saw the curate and ask how he had got along.

"Oh, very well. I didn't have time to prepare my own sermon so I used one of your unused ones."

A trusted aid was counseling the senator, "Some of your constituents are beginning to disagree with you."

The senator replied, "Keep tabs on them. When enough disagree with me to constitute a reliable majority, I'll turn around and agree with them."

Little Johnny's homework assignment was about The War of 1776.

As Johnny was doing his homework he asked his father, "Who was it that said 'we haven't started to fight yet'?"

"A bride and groom, still on their honeymoon I guess," growled his dad.

During the recent winter Olympus the leading downhill skier. was told he had a temperature.

"How high is it doctor?" he wanted to know.

"A hundred and one..."

"What's the world record?"