Someone broke into my garage last night and took a bunch of stuff, including my limbo stick!

Seriously, how low can you go?

"Have you got anything to drink?"

“Water.”

"I meant something harder?"

“Ice.”

The economy is going to be so bad that...

1. I will get a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

2. You will order a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter will ask, "Can you afford fries with that?"

3. McDonald's will be selling the 1/4 ouncers.

4. CEO's will be playing miniature golf.

5. If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds" you may have to call them and ask if they meant you or them.