Teacher: "Little Johnny, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?"

Little Johnny: "What do you think it is, Sir?"

Teacher: "I don't think, I KNOW!"

Little Johnny: "I don't think I know either, Sir."

Halfway between New York City and Washington DC the train's engine fell silent.

"I've got good news and bad news," the conductor announced. "The bad news is that we lost power."

The passengers groaned.

"The good news," he added, "is we weren't cruising at 30,000 feet."

I was in a job interview the other day and they asked if I could perform under pressure.

I said, "No, but I can perform Bohemian Rhapsody!"