A preacher challenged his wife and criticized her actions after finding a dress costing $250 in her bag. He said, "You know we are on an incredibly tight budget.

The wife admitted that she was wrong but explained she was tempted by the devil who followed her to the shopping mall.

The man rested a hand on the woman's shoulders and spoke softly, asking her to constantly resist the devil with the command, "Get behind me, Satan!"

The preacher's wife response was: "I did, and he said 'The dress even looks good from back here.'"

A man and a woman are having a date.

The woman remarks, “You know, you look totally like my third husband!”

The man is startled and asks, “Really, how many times have you been married?”

“Twice.”

Arguing with the wife is a lot like trying to read the Terms of Use on the internet.

In the end you just give up and go “I Agree”.

She: "Honey, I don't like you with the new glasses on."

He: "But sweetheart, I don't wear any glasses."

She: "True, but I do."