A guy, desperate for a drink walks into a candy store. He looks around and after a while the storekeeper says, "Can I help you with anything?"

The guy replies, "Yeah, I really need a drink! Got any liquor?"

"Well, I'm not sure but there is this here," replies the storekeeper.

"What is that?"

"It's liquor-ish"

A man was found guilty of overusing commas.

The judge warned him to expect a really long sentence.

I was really angry at my friend Mark for stealing my dictionary!

I said, “Mark, my words!”

What did 2 say to 3 when they saw 6 act like an idiot?

"Don’t mind him, he’s just a product of our times."