I ate a kids meal at McDonald's today...

His mom got really angry!

Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight...

There would be mass confusion.

It’s my wife’s birthday soon and she’s been leaving jewelry catalogs all over the house.

She'll be happy to know I got the hint.

I got her a magazine rack!

My landlord texted me saying we need to meet up and talk about how high my heating bill is.

I replied back: “Sure, my door is always open.”