Today I was in the bank when two men came in wearing masks...

Everyone felt a huge relief when they told us it’s only a bank robbery.

Doctor: You have a disease, but we can treat it.

Patient: What’s the Cure?

Doctor: It’s an 80s rock band fronted by Robert Smith, but let’s try to stay focused...

A man is stunned when his hot, newly divorced neighbor knocks at his door. He answers eagerly and she asks him, "Are you free tonight?"

He blurts out, "Yes!"

She asks, "Great! Would you watch my kids?"

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control.

I thought to myself... "Well this changes everything!"