What did the dyslexic worm say to the voracious largemouth bass???

“Oh carp!”

Little Annie: “Mommy, mommy, I’m going to the bathroom on my own!”

Mommy: “Good girl! #1 or #2??”

Little Annie: “If there’s a #2, it must be hiding...”

While entering the elevator to heaven, a confused client accidentally pushed the down button. Arriving at the basement, the door opened to reveal the devil himself—sporting board shorts, relaxing in a lounge chair and sucking on a cold brew.

The bewildered client couldn’t help but ask Satan, “Is this how the lower level lives everyday?”

With his renowned devilish grin, Satan replied, “Hell no! Our Friday special is margaritas and blackened redfish, and Mondays are Karaoke night!”

In an effort to compete with regional microchip production, the Mayor of St. Paul, MN decided to hold an economic luncheon event.

The caterer arrived with a full stock of mini apples and mini soda.