In other news, the seven dwarfs have been advised that they can only meet in groups of 6...

One of them isn’t Happy!

I’m giving up drinking until Christmas!

Sorry, bad punctuation.

I’m giving up, drinking until Christmas!

My brother took going to jail badly.

He refused food, drinks, he spat on and swore at anybody who came near him, and started throwing things everywhere.

After that we never played Monopoly again.

Them: "Why do you always carry a knife?"

Me: "The last time I tried to open a bag of chips with a 9mm, things didn’t go so well."