Favorite this joke Me: "My wife is always forgetting to turn off the flashlight on her cell phone."
Friend: "I bet that’s annoying?"
Me: "Not so. When she walks in, I get to say, 'She really lights up the room.'”
What do you call the ritual of giving honorary college degrees to celebrities?
Artificial Intelligence.
A fellow with a very sore shoulder went to his doctor for a consultation.
"It looks like it's just inflamed," the doctor said as he looked at the x-rays. "A cortisone shot would likely calm done the pain for a while."
"But will it hurt?" the patient asked.
The doctor's responded, "I've given hundreds of these shots, and I've never felt a thing."
“Are you making any New Year’s Resolutions?” my friend asked.
“Yes. I’ve resolved to stop playing so much polo,” I remarked.
“Since when have you been playing polo?"
“Never. But I figured that is one resolution I could keep!”
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