Top 5 Signs that Gasoline has gotten way too expensive:

1. A gas station is offering a free car with every fill up!

2. Any purchase over a gallon requires a credit check.

3. Price is now in gold bullion.

4. Texaco now offering monthly payment plans.

5. You're excited to find gas at under $5 a half cup.

A new survey shows that 60% of men under the age of 30 don't own a suit...

Then again, those of us over 30 that have a suit don't know if they still fit.

What are the favorite vegetables in Washington, D.C.?

In Congress, it's celery...

At the White House, carrots...

And of course, at the Supreme Court, leeks.

What's the difference between a rock guitarist and a jazz guitarist?

A rock guitarist plays 4 notes in front of 1000 people, while a jazz guitarist plays 1000 notes in front of 4 people.