Favorite this joke A father thought it was about time to lecture his son, who was somewhat scatter-brained and frivolous.
"Jim," he said, "you're getting to be a man now and you ought to take life more seriously. Just think, if I died all of a sudden, where would you be?"
"I'd be right here, dad," said Jim. "The better question is, where would YOU be?"
The scene is sometime in the old era when cockpits had round dials plus flight engineers and navigators. The crusty old-timer captain is breaking in a brand new navigator.
The captain opens his briefcase, pulls out a .38 and rests it on the glare panel. He asks the navigator, "Know what this is for?"
"No, sir," replies the newbie.
"I use it on navigators that get us lost," explains the captain, winking at his first officer.
The navigator then opens his briefcase, pulls out a .45 an sets it on his chart table.
"What's THAT for?" queries the surprised captain.
"Well, sir," replies the navigator, "I'll know we're lost before you will."
She was in the kitchen doing the boiled eggs for breakfast.
He walks in and she says, "You've got to make love to me this very moment!"
He says, "What's going on?"
She says, "The egg timer is broken."
Researchers say that cats actually understand when you say their name, they're just choosing to ignore you.
Further research shows that dogs want their owners to know, "I tried to tell you!"
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