A man flies into a new city on business. When he got to the hotel he realized he came down with laryngitis. He decided to call a doctor before he completely lost his voice.

He looks up a doctor’s phone number and calls him. A woman picks up the phone. The man, not being able to talk loud, whispers, “Is the doctor in?”

The woman whispers back, “He just left. It’s safe to come in now.”

A woman was shopping for a new dress to wear to her 30th year high school reunion where a bunch of teenage girls were also shopping for a dress for prom night.

“Eeeeewwwwwwww”, said one young girl, looking at the dress she was holding. “This dress makes me look like I’m 40!”

“Gimme that dress!” says the woman as she snatched the dress from the young girl’s hand. "That’s EXACTLY what I’m looking for!"

Mike and John were talking about their coworker, Dan.

Mike: What happened to Dan today? He didn’t show up to work this morning.

John: Oh, Dan’s in the hospital getting treatment for a few broken bones.

Mike: What happened? I saw him dancing with a woman at the bar last night.

John: Yeah, unfortunately so did his wife.

Little Johnny’s teacher asked the students what they want to be in the future. Laurie says she wants to be a doctor.

Karen says she wanted to be a police officer and Susie says she wanted to be a rich and famous actress and model.

When the teacher asked Johnny what he wanted to do, he said, “I want to marry Susie.”