A couple were taking a group tour at a crocodile park when they come across a canal riddled with crocodiles. An eccentric millionaire in the group issued a challenge. Anyone who jumps into the canal and swim across the other side will receive $1 million. If he dies either by drowning or eaten by crocodiles, his widow will get $500,000.

All of a sudden a man jumps into the canal and starts swimming. The crocodiles took after him but somehow he managed to get to the other side unscathed. He gets $1 million, as promised, and gets back to his wife. The wife excitedly says, “I know you could do it, Honey”.

The husband says, “Oh yeah? What would you have done had I died?”

With the same enthusiasm the wife replies, “I would have still got $500,000.”

Three college professors were playing golf in a particularly hot day when they decided to make a bet. Whoever loses a round will remove an article of clothing. By the time they got to the 9th hole they were all completely naked. Just as they were about to wear clothes, a bus carrying a group of college students came around the bend. Two of the three professors grabbed their clothes and try to cover their naked body. The third one, however, just put his clothes over his face.

After the bus passed the two professors asked the third one, “Why in the world would you cover your face? Have you no shame?”

The professors replies, “I don’t know about your classroom but in my classroom EVERYONE knows my face!”

A spiritual leader asked his pupils if they saw a $20 bill and a $100 bill on the floor which one they’d pick up.

Nobody answers but finally one guy meekly blurts out, “$100.”

The spiritual leader simply says, “I see.”

After a small pause, of his pupil asks him, “Which one would you have picked up, oh Wise One?”

Looking straight into his eyes the leader answers, “I’d have picked up both.”