I failed at investigative journalism, pursuing a lead about an ice cream shop that was serving undersized portions.

I couldn’t get the scoop.

The bank manager told me they were not going to pay any dividends on my savings account.

I said, “Okay, you’ve got my interest.”

I took a sculpture class to learn how to make a likeness of a person.

It was a bust.

An opera singer said she could teach me how to hit high C...

I said, “No thanks. I’ve heard that pitch.”