A tired traveler decided to find a hotel for the night. He stumbled to the front desk and said to the clerk, “Pardon me, I’m exhausted, I’ve been driving for fourteen hours, I’m hungry, and I have a headache. Can you just tell me what room I’m in?”
“Certainly, sir,” the helpful clerk replied. “You are in the lobby.”

A woman stopped at a historic old hotel and asked the desk clerk for the room rates. “A room on the first floor is none hundred and fifty dollars; on the second floor, one hundred and forty dollars, and on the third floor, one hundred and thirty dollars.”
The woman turned to leave. “Don’t you like the accommodations?” asked the clerk.
“Oh, yes, it’s great,” replied the woman. “It just isn’t tall enough.”

Only in America: We work hard on a farm so we can move into town, where we can make more money… so we can move back to the farm.

A distraught investor called his financial advisor. “Is it true? Is my money really all gone?” he asked, wailing.

“No, no, take it easy,” the advisor answered calmly. “It isn't all gone... it’s just with somebody else.”