A woman stopped at a historic old hotel and asked the desk clerk for the room rates. “A room on the first floor is none hundred and fifty dollars; on the second floor, one hundred and forty dollars, and on the third floor, one hundred and thirty dollars.”
The woman turned to leave. “Don’t you like the accommodations?” asked the clerk.
“Oh, yes, it’s great,” replied the woman. “It just isn’t tall enough.”

“Look, Charlie,” the coach said, “you know the principles of good sportsmanship. You know the Little League doesn’t allow temper tantrums, shouting at the umpire, or abusive language.”

“Yes sir, I understand.”

“Good, Charlie. Now, would you explain that to your father?”

The CEO of a major corporation asked his press officer to write a twenty-minute speech for the shareholders meeting. Upon his return from the meeting he is furious at the press officer.

“Are you trying to kill my career?” the executive barks. "I asked for a twenty-minute speech and you give me an hour-long speech! People were standing up and walking out.”

“No,” says the press officer, “I gave you exactly what you requested… a twenty-minute speech and two extra copies.”

A passenger was having difficulty lugging his oversized travel bag onto the plane. Helped by a flight attendant, he finally managed to stuff it in the overhead bin.

“Do you always carry such heavy luggage? she asked, winded.

“Never again!” the man said. “Next time, I’m riding in the bag, and my friend can buy the ticket!"