The other day, I was watching a cooking show where they used leftover beer to make batter for chicken wings.

What surprised me most about this was the fact that anyone would have leftover beer!

A fishmonger is painting "FRESH FISH SOLD HERE" above his door when a passerby comes to meet him. "It's probably not necessary to write, 'Here'; you're not selling it anywhere else after all."

"No, that's right." the fishmonger replies.

"And it's probably not necessary to write 'Sold' either, since you wouldn't be giving it away."

"No, that's true," the fishmonger says.

"It's probably also not necessary to write 'Fresh' as your sellers naturally will assume it is fresh," the helpful man continues.

"Yes, that's quite true," the fishmonger replies. "Thank you very much, you've saved me a lot of trouble."

"You're welcome," the man replies. "Oh, and by the way, you probably don't even need to write 'Fish'; I could smell it from a block away."

Young Office Worker, to older boss: "I think you're wanted on the phone, sir."

Older Boss: "What do you mean you think?"

Young Office Worker: "Well, when I answered the phone, a voice said, 'Is that you, you old fool?'"