Mr. Johnson: "Honey, it's been a while since the Worthingtons have been over for a visit."

Mrs. Johnson: "And I don't think they'll be back."

Mr. Johnson: "Really? Why?"

Mrs. Johnson: "You insulted Mrs. Worthington's cooking after that last potluck."

Mr. Johnson: "Honey, I never said she was a bad cook, I merely pointed out that since they'd been here, our garbage disposal had developed an ulcer."

Frances and her sister Penny were at a fancy party; as they passed by a group of people, they overhear them having a conversation about Mozart. "Absolutely brilliant....One of the great geniuses....A fine fellow....Very admirable."

Hoping to join in the general conversation, Penny remarked casually, "Ah yes, I very much agree about Mozart. Why, just this morning, I saw him getting on the No. 5 bus to Coney Island." There was a sudden hush and everyone looked at her. Frances leaned over and hissed in Penny's ear, "We're leaving now, get in the car."

As they began making their way home, Penny noticed her sister glowering and asked, "Say, what's the matter?"

"What's the matter? What's the matter?" Frances snapped back. "Gad, I've never been so embarrassed in my life! You just told everyone that you saw Mozart take the No. 5 bus to Coney Island when everyone knows full well that the No. 5 bus doesn't even GO to Coney Island!"