A man vacationing in Africa stopped his fancy car in the middle of a large clearing in the jungle. While taking photos of the various animals passing by, a tired elephant came walking up from the other side. Noticing the car and mistaking it for a big black rock, the elephant sat on it.

What do you suppose happened next?

Well, everyone knows Mercedes Bends.

A man is walking across a bridge when he notices a little boy crying. Concerned, he walks up to the boy and asks, "Say, what's wrong, young fellow?"

"My sandwich fell in the water." the boy sobs.

Perplexed but sympathetic, the man says, "Oh, I'm very sorry, it must have been a very delicious sandwich. Was it with ham and cheese?"

"No." the boy sniffles.

"Well, was it with just cheese?"

"No."

"Was it with peanut butter and jelly?"

"No," the boy wails. "It was with my brother!"

Mr. Jameson was backing out of his driveway one morning when he heard a thump; panicked, he stopped the car and rushed out to see what had happened. A small dog was lying dead at the end of the driveway. Mr. Jameson felt terrible; he recognized this as a neighbor's dog and quickly made his way to the house next door.

Upon knocking on the door, Mr. Jameson was greeted by a tall woman. "I'm very sorry," he said. "But when I was backing out of my driveway this morning, I accidentally ran over your dog. I feel terrible and insist on replacing her."

The woman paused for a moment, then said, "Well, I guess you can bring me my slippers and newspaper tomorrow morning."