Favorite this joke City boy, visiting his cousin's farm: "Say, why doesn't that cow have horns?"
Country cousin: "There are many reasons why a cow might not have horns. Some grow horns late in life, some have them removed, some might lose them in an accident, and then there are certain breeds who simply never grow horns. This cow doesn't have horns because it's a horse."
A man was walking down the road when suddenly, a masked man jumped out from behind a bush and yelled, "Give me your money!"
"I have no money, I'm just a poor bookseller," the man replied. "Here, take my wallet and see for yourself." Upon looking inside the man's wallet, the bandit indeed finds it empty and walks off, grumbling to himself.
The next day, the man was walking down the street when the same bandit accosted him. "Give me your money!" he exclaimed. The man showed the bandit that he still didn't have any money and the bandit left again.
The next day, the man was walking down the road when the bandit approached him again. Growing annoyed and more than a little bit perplexed, the man said, "Look, you know who I am and that I have no money, so why even bother with me?"
The bandit replied, "I'm still practicing and you don't seem to mind very much."
A lady staying in a hotel kept a pet parrot who she would often let out of the cage to fly around the room. One day, the lady was about to leave to do some errands, but had forgotten to check whether she had closed the parrot's cage door or not; because she was in a hurry and didn't have time to go back, she quickly wrote up a note, reading, "Please enter with care, Pet flies!" and taped it to the door.
By the end of the day, the cleaning lady went to meet with the hotel manager. "Have you cleaned all of the rooms?" he asked.
"Yes," she replied. "All except for the room of that one tenant with the pet flies."
Joe: "Why do matadors wave red capes at bulls?"
Moe: "To make them angry so they'll charge."
Joe: "Do they dislike the color red that much?"
Moe: "Actually no, it's chickens that don't like red."
Joe: "But what does that have to do with bull fighting?"
Moe: "A bull really hates getting treated like a chicken."
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