Favorite this joke Television repairman: "So, what seems to be the problem with your TV?"
Homeowner: "Well, it has double images. I hope the two of you can fix it."
Teacher: "Now, class, can anyone tell me what the word 'Can't' is short for?"
Lizzy: "Can not."
Teacher: "Very good! Now, can anyone tell me what 'Won't' is short for?"
Lewis: "Will not."
Teacher: "That's right! Now, can anyone tell me what 'Don't' is short for?"
Harold: "Donut."
A homeowner leans over his fence, holding a football, and shouts to two small boys on the other side of the street, "Is this your ball?"
"Did it hit anything, mister?" one of the boys asks.
"No."
"Then it's ours."
Little Johnny's mother is making dinner when Johnny runs up to her, sobbing uncontrollably. "Mom, Mom! I just cleaned my room!" he exclaims.
"Why, that's wonderful dear!" his mother replies. "But why does that make you so unhappy?"
"Because I still can't find my snake!"
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