Bill invites his family over for dinner one evening. As they sit at the table, the family notice that the plates don't seem very clean. "Pardon me, son," his mother asks. "But have these plates been washed?"

"Why, yes," Bill replies. "They're as clean as soap and water could get them." The family is skeptical but go ahead and eat the dinner; despite the state of the plates, the food is delicious.

After dinner is over, Bill takes the plates and sets them on the floor; he then turns to the doorway, whistles and calls, "Here, Soap! Here, Water!"

Saleswoman: "When this baby doll is put to bed, it goes to sleep just like a real baby."

Mrs. Williams: "Whoever made it didn't know much about real babies."

Joe: "Say Moe, do you know how I could hit this nail without hitting my fingers?"

Moe: "Hmm, maybe you could hold the hammer in both hands."

Diner: "Waitress, I don't like all these flies buzzing around my plate."

Waitress: "Don't worry, sir, just show me the ones you don't like and I'll get rid of them."