Comedian: "I highly object to you having me go on stage after that monkey act."

Stage manager: "Honestly, I can understand, the audience might have thought it was an encore."

Joe: "That's a mighty fine stuffed lion, Moe."

Moe: "Why, thank you, Joe. This lion was caught by my uncle during one of his trips to Africa."

Joe: "Fascinating. What is it stuffed with?"

Moe: "My uncle."

A surgeon, who had just gotten his suit back from the tailor shop, goes back to the shop and says, "My suit just fell apart!"

"Oh my!" the tailor replies. "Do you know how this could have happened?"

"I don't know," the surgeon replies. "It was fine until I took the stitches out."

Diner: "These oysters are very small."

Waiter: "I suppose, sir."

Diner: "And they don't look very fresh."

Waiter: "Then I suppose it's a good thing they're so small, isn't it, sir?"