Favorite this joke Mr. Benson: "Honey, last night I heard you complaining about me in your sleep."
Mrs. Benson: "Oh, that was just your imagination."
Mr. Benson: "My imagination? How so?"
Mrs. Benson: "That I was asleep."
Why is it that when you go grocery shopping, you can buy a loaf of bread in a plastic bag, a gallon of milk in a plastic bottle, turkey slices in plastic wrap, six apples in a plastic carton, a block of cheese in plastic wrap, and plastic bottles of ketchup and mustard.
But when you go to check out, they won't give you a plastic bag because it's bad for the environment?
Fred, a waiter who had worked in a small restaurant for 53 years, passed away one night. His wife, Lois was heartbroken without him; she spent several days contacting psychics, channelers, anyone who could help her contact Fred, but unfortunately met without success.
One day, Lois' nephew came for a visit. She explained the situation to him, upon which he suggested the possibility that Fred's ghost might be haunting the restaurant. Becoming hopeful again, Lois waited until the restaurant had closed for the night, went in the back door and sat at a table. "Fred?" she called into the darkness. "Fred darling, are you here?"
A small voice called back, "Yes, dear."
Lois happily exclaimed, "Oh Fred, I've missed you so much! But can you speak a bit louder, please? I'm afraid I'm having trouble hearing you."
Fred replied, "I'm sorry, I can't."
Lois said, "Then could you come a bit closer, please?"
"Oh, I'm afraid I can't," Fred replied. "That's not my table."
The famous pop singer Chloe Sweetsong is signing autographs outside the local concert hall of a small town when a little girl approaches her with an autograph book.
"Miss Sweetsong," the girl says. "May I have your autograph, please?"
Noticing that the girl looks familiar, Chloe says, "But haven't I signed your book before?"
"Yes," the girl replies. "But when I get ten of your autographs, I can get one of Taylor Swift's."
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