Car owner: "Were you able to get my car started?"

Mechanic: "I'm afraid not, sir, the battery's flat."

Car owner: "What shape is it supposed to be?"

Windows: Please enter your new password.

User: potatoes

Windows: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters long.

User: baked potatoes

Windows: Sorry, the password must contain at least one numerical character.

User: 3 baked potatoes

Windows: Sorry, the password cannot have any blank spaces.

User: 75bigdumbstinkinbakedpotatoes

Windows: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case letter.

User: 75bigDUMBstinkinbakedpotatoes

Windows: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case letter consecutively

User: 75BigDumbStinkinBakedPotatoesSmashedInYourFaceIfYouDontGiveMeAccessRightNow!

Windows: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.

User: 75BigDumbStinkinBakedPotatoesSmashedInYourFaceIfYouDontGiveMeAccessRightNowAndRightThisVeryMinute

Windows: Sorry, that password is already in use.

Joe: "I've heard about your wit."

Moe: "Oh, that's nothing."

Joe: "Yeah, that's what I've heard."

Little Johnny: "Dad, can I have a dollar, please?"

Dad: "Son, don't you think you're getting a bit old to ask for a dollar?"

Johnny: "Hmm, maybe you're right. Can I have five dollars?"