Favorite this joke A preacher was known for long and boring sermons.
He preached for about one hour when he stopped to scold the congregation.
He said, "I know you think my sermons are long, but I've got something important to tell you. I don't mind you looking at your watches while I'm preaching, but I want you to know that I resent you shaking them to see if they're still running."
When the graveside service for his wife had just finished, there was a tremendous burst of thunder accompanied by a distant lightning bolt and more rumbling thunder.
The husband, a down-trodden little old man, looked at the pastor and calmly said, "Well, she's there..."
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"
Morris replied, “Just doing what you said, Doc... 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'’’
The doctor replied, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You’ve got a heart murmur, be careful.'''
A church had a man in the choir who couldn't sing. Several people hinted to him that he could serve in other places, but he continued to come to the choir. The choir director became desperate and went to the pastor. "You've got to get that man out of the choir," he said. "If you don't, I'm going to resign. The choir members are going to quit too. Please do something."
So the pastor went to the man and suggested, "Perhaps you should leave the choir."
"Why should I get out of the choir?" he asked.
"Well, five or six people have told me you can't sing."
“That's nothing,” the man snorted. “Fifty people have told me that you can't preach!”
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