Little Johnny: Dad, Is it true? I heard that in some countries where arranged marriage is a custom, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries!

Father: Son, that happens everywhere, after marriage you find out everything!

Two men, an American and an Indian were sitting in a bar and discussing about their family problems..

The Indian man said to the American, 'We have problem in India we can't marry the one whom we love, You know my parents are forcing me to get married to this so called homely girl from a village whom I haven't even met once. We call this arranged marriage. I don't want to marry a woman whom I don't love... I told them that openly and now have a lot of family problems.

The American said, talking about love marriages... In America We can marry the one whom we love. I'll tell you my story. I married a widow whom I deeply loved and dated for 3 years. After a couple of years, my father fell in love with my step-daughter and married her, so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father's father-in-law. Legally now my daughter is my mother and my wife my grandmother. More problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father's brother and so he is my uncle.

Situations turned worse when my father had a son. Now my father's son, my brother is my grandson. Ultimately, I have become my own grandfather and I am my own grandson.And you say you have family problems.

The Indian fainted........!

Wife: I hate that beggar.

Husband: Why?

Wife: That rascal, yesterday I gave him food and today he gave me a Cookbook!

An angry customer and an apologetic Domino’s Pizza:

Customer: Yo, I ordered a Pizza and it came with no toppings on it or anything, Its just plain bread!

Domino’s: We’re extremely sorry to hear about this.

Customer (minutes later): Never mind, I opened the pizza upside down!