The phone bill was exceptionally high. Man called a family meeting to discuss the matter.

Dad: "This is unacceptable, I don't use the home phone, I use my work phone."

Mom: "Me too, I use my company phone. I hardly use the home phone."

Son: "I use my office mobile. I never use the home phone."

All of them shocked turned to look at the maid who was patiently listening to them all this time.

Maid: "What? So we all use our work phones, what is the big deal?"

What do you call a fat psychic?

A four chin teller!

A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl?

B: It’s a girl. She’s my daughter.

A: Oh, I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t know that you were her father.

B: I’m not. I’m her MOTHER.

When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body.

Men are so polite they only look at the covered parts!