The mayor in my city just passed a law that male best friends have to have lunch together at least once a week.

Well, it's not a law, it's more of a mandate.

What do you call it when your mother's sisters all gather at a funeral to avenge your death?

Vigil Aunties

I'm glad I know sign language.. It's pretty handy.

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams and Bruno Mars walk into a bar.

They didn't planet that way.