I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

A Sardar buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number.

The Sardar says, “I want my $20 million.”

The man replied, “No, Sir. It doesn’t work that way. We give you a million today and then you’ll get the rest spread out for the next 19 days.”

Sardar said, “Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it.”

Again, the man explained that he would only get a million that day and the rest during the next 19 days.

Sardar furious with the man, screams out, “Look, I want my money! if you’re not going to give me my $20 million right now, then I want my 1 dollar back!”

3 drunk guys entered a taxi. The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine & turned it off again. Then said, "We have reached your destination". The 1st guy gave him money & the 2nd guy said "Thank you". The 3rd guy slapped the driver. The driver was shocked thinking the 3rd drunk knew what he did. But then he asked "What was that for?". The 3rd guy replied, "Control your speed next time, you nearly killed us!"

Waitress: 'Do u have any questions about the menu?' Me: 'What kind of font is this?'