A man was walking through the grounds of a university one morning when he noticed a young blind woman struggling with her Guide-Dog. The animal was resolutely pulling in one direction, she in another.

When he offered assistance, the woman replied, "No thanks, this is a family argument. The dog knows I'm supposed to go to a lecture right now -- but I want to miss it."

I can't remember how to write 51, 6, and 500 in Roman numerals.

I am LIVID!

What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? Spare ribs.

Why should a skeleton drink 10 glasses of milk a day? It's good for the bones.

Why don't skeletons like parties? They have no body to dance with.

A woman had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up.

"Wow," said her husband, "that was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?"

"Wrong number," replied the wife.