Two children ordered their mother to stay in bed one Mother's Day morning. As she lay there looking forward to being brought breakfast in bed, the smell of bacon floated up from the kitchen.

Finally, the children called her to come downstairs. She found them both sitting at the table eating bacon and eggs.

"As a surprise for Mother's Day," one explained, "we decided to cook our own breakfast."

Two neighbors were talking about work, when one asked, "Say, why did the foreman fire you?"

Replied the second, "You know how a foreman is always standing around and watching others do the work? Well, my foreman got jealous. People started thinking I was the foreman."

Thanksgiving is a time to count your blessings...

One by one...

As each relative goes home.

Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging of how great their fathers are.

The first one says, "Well, my dad runs the fastest. He can fire an arrow, and start to run, I tell you, he gets there before the arrow."

The second one says, "Ha! You think that's fast! My dad's a ball player. He can throw a ball and be there before the ball lands on the ground."

The third one listens to the other two and shakes his head. He then says, "You two know nothing about fast. My dad is a civil servant. He stops working at 4:30 and he is home by 3:45."