What flavors of ice cream do you have?" inquired the customer.

"Vanilla, strawberry, and chocolate," answered the new waitress in a hoarse whisper.

Trying to be sympathetic, the customer asked, "Do you have laryngitis?"

"No...." replied the new waitress with some effort, "just...erm.... vanilla, strawberry, and chocolate."

A snail was involved in an accident that resulted in his shell being torn completely off.

Hearing about the accident, one of his friends rushed over (as much as a snail can rush) to his friend's house.

"I heard about your accident!" he exclaimed, and then asked, "How are you feeling?"

The recovering snail answered, "Sluggish."

Boss (to the new employee): We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in?

New employee: Yes, sir.

Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat.

"How come you're late?" asked the bartender, as the blonde waitress walked into the bar.

"It was awful," she explained. "I was walking down Elm street and there was a terrible accident. A man was thrown from his car and he was lying in the middle of the street. His leg was broken, his skull was fractured, and there was blood everywhere. Thank God I took that first-aid course.

"What did you do?" asked the bartender.

"I sat down and put my head between my knees to keep from fainting."