Little Susie, a six-year-old, complained, "Mother, I've got a stomach ache."

"That's because your stomach is empty," the mother replied. "You would feel better if you had something in it."

That afternoon, her father came complaining that he had a severe headache all day. Susie perked up. "That's because it's empty," she said. "You'd feel better if you had something in it."

"What is the difference between a teacher and a train?" asked the principal.

One student raises her hand and replies, "One say, 'Spit out your gum,' and the other says, 'Choo choo choo!'"