Lady: My husband keeps talking in his sleep.
Doctor: Just allow him to speak during the day, and he will be alright.

I did not like my beard at first...

But then it grew on me.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours and i will go to mine.

Teacher: Suppose you have $10 and you asked your brother for $5. How much would you have then?

Student: $10.

Teacher: Why?

Student: My brother won't give me any money.