My wife and I were at my high school reunion. As I looked around, I noticed the other men in their expensive suits ... and their bulging stomachs.

Proud of the fact that I weighed just five pounds more than I did when I was in high school, I said to my wife, "I'm the only guy here who can still wear the suit he wore when he graduated."

She glanced at the well-dressed crowd, then back at me, and said, "You're the only one who has to."

A daddy was listening to his child say his prayer and he hear a "Dear Harold."

At this, dad interrupted and said, "Wait a minute, why did you call God 'Harold'?"

The little boy looked up and said, "That's what they call Him in church. You know the prayer we say, 'Our Father, who art in Heaven, Harold be Thy name.'"

David's colleague at a package-processing center was trapped in a small rest room by a faulty lock. When he was finally discovered, David and another worker were able to open the door with some difficulty. The lock was still jammed, so they blocked the door open while a maintenance worker was called.

A bit later, David noticed the door was closed again. He jiggled the doorknob and a voice from inside called, "Get me out!"

"Don't worry," David replied, "maintenance should be sending somebody."

"They did," said the voice.

Engineering classes at the University of Maryland are tough, and struggling students sometimes go to extremes in order to pass. Grading exams one semester, I got to this question: "What is the relationship between kinetic and potential energy?"

One student, obviously stumped, decided to get clever and wrote, "As far as I know, they're just friends, but there could be something else going on there."