I went to the library the other day and found a book titled "How to Hug".

Wanting to learn the secrets of intimacy I quickly grabbed the book and headed to the checkout counter.

The librarian was polite but said I couldn't check out the book because it was the seventh volume of Encyclopedia Britannica.

Silence is golden...

Unless you have children...

If that is the case, silence is suspicious.

John: Do you know how many children a family would have if the husband had to share in the labor and delivery?

Fred: No I have no idea.

John: They would only have three. The woman would have the first one, the husband the second and the wife would have the third. There would be no more because the husband has no intention of going through it again.

Studies have shown that married men live longer than single men...

So if you want a longer life, and a slower death, just get married.