A group of extraterrestrials were sent to earth to monitor and/or stop the use of nuclear weapons. The first creature they made contact with was a chimpanzee. Mistakenly they mistook the chimp as being the dominant species of planet earth.

After scanning the chimp one of them looked at the others and said, “This must be a mistake, perhaps we’re on the wrong planet.”

One of the other Aliens said, “You may be right. It’s obvious these beings are far too intelligent to use nuclear power in a destructive way."

I lost my job as a spy. I was supposed to stand in a certain location and report if anyone picked up a package left on a park bench.

It began to rain badly and not far from my location I saw a park sign with a small roof over it. I took cover from rain for the worst part, but upon return to my post the package was gone.

Apparently my supervisors didn’t like my report when I reminded them the number one rule for spies is to remain under cover at all times.

Billy: Being a kid is tough. Parents hold mistakes over your head forever. This Friday I can’t go to the movies because I made a simple mistake a long time ago.

Bobby: What did you do?

Billy: I put the hose in my sister’s window and turned it on.

Bobby: That’s a pretty big mistake, when did you do that?

Billy: Wednesday.

The reason Tinker Bell didn’t have a tail was to make the story more realistic.

After all, no one really believes in fairy tails...