In a well known fortune 500 company the employee lounge was seldom used. As executives walked by the lounge each day they noticed a man with his feet up, shoes off and a loosened tie watching the television.

The next day the man was still there and so on. After a week or so talk around the water fountain led many employees to band together and confront the man.

The group met at the employee lounge and asked the man, "Why are you here and who hired you?"

After swallowing the popcorn he replied, "The CEO is so busy he hired me to watch TV for him."

What do you get when you cross a Gorilla with a Rhino?

I don't exactly know either but would imagine you get an animal that often hear's the words, "Whatever you say, I'm golden with it!"

An English boy came home from school to hear the family parrot say, "Liam never does his homework."

Liam: "Who told you that?"

Polly looked the other way and said nothing..

Liam: "So, mum's the word eh."

Polly: "Oh man, don't tell Mum I told you."

What do you get if you mix sorbitol, gelatin, #3 red dye and artificial flavorings then post your formula online joking it's antigravity material?

You get a friendly midnight visit from men in black and get to explain you're only trying to make gummy bears.