(Father) Your mother tells me your first prom dance is coming up!
(Son) Yes, but I don’t think I’m going. What if I ask a girl and she says no?
(Father) Son, never fear rejection. Just keep asking until some nice young lady accepts your invitation.

(Son) Did you go to your first prom dance?
(Father) I sure did and I never let rejection hold me back!

(Son) Does this mean the first girl you asked said no?
(Father) Yes. In fact, many said no but I didn’t give up.

(Son) Did you have fun?

(Father) I sure did! And if you don’t believe me, ask your Aunt Suzy, we had a ball.

"I think grandpa mistook his smart phone for an empty glass of wine."

"Why do you say that?"

"He just threw it in the fireplace."

A disheveled man was standing on a busy city corner. With open palms toward the sky he yells out give me a sign, I just need a sign.

The manager of a pizza restaurant walks out and hands the man a sign. He says just wave it at the passing cars!

My wife curiously noticed that every time it was my turn to put the kids to bed they fall asleep in minutes.

I told her that when I play my guitar it works like magic putting kids to sleep.

She said I must be exceedingly talented because it works just like that with her as well.