Tech support: “What does the screen say now?”

Customer: “It says ‘Hit enter when ready.’”

Tech support: “Well?”

Customer: “How do I know when it’s ready?”

A woman who lived next door to a preacher was puzzled by his personality change in the pulpit. At home he was shy, quiet and retiring but in the church he was a real fire and brimstone orator, rousing the masses in the name of God. It was as if he was two different people.

One day she asked him about the dramatic transformation that came over him when he preached.

“Ah,” he said, “that’s my altar ego.”

How does someone actually break out into a "cold sweat"?

Doing Pilates in a Meat Locker?

Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun...

But I have never been able to make out the numbers.