I once swallowed a dictionary.

It gave me thesaurus throat I ever had.

A little kid goes grocery shopping with his mother. They separate for a short time. Then, being lost, he says, “Martha! Martha!”

Short time later his mother rushes up and hugs him. She says, “Why did you call out Martha, Martha, I am your mother?”

The kid says, “There are a lot of mothers in the store, better chance you’re the only Martha.”

Everyone's heard of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer as the ninth reindeer, but many people don't know that there is a tenth one whose name was Olive.

"Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."

"Can I buy a live shark here?"

"Lady, what do you want with a live shark?"

"A neighbor's cat has been eating my goldfish, and I want to teach him a lesson."