A snake slithered into a bar and asked the bartender for a drink. “I’m sorry,” said the bartender, “but I can’t serve you.”

“Why not?” asked the snake.

“Because you can’t hold your drink.”

Teacher: "Here is an example of a tongue twister — Sally sells sixty six shells by the sandy seashore... Now try saying that five times in a row fast!"

Little Johnny: "That five times in a row fast!"

I buy all my guns from a guy called “T-Rex”...

He’s a small arms dealer.

One Sunday morning, a preacher tells his congregation that in order to prepare for next week’s sermon that they should read Obadiah 2:1-2:15.

Next week comes and the preacher asks the congregation if they read the required reading from the Bible. Suddenly there’s a murmur in the congregation. No one read it, but since they didn’t want to get into trouble, they all raised their hands.

The preacher then says, It is amazing that all of you read Obadiah 2:1-2:15, because there is only ONE chapter in Obadiah. Now, today's lesson is on honesty..."