Son: "Excuse me daddy, but what is the twenty fifth letter of the alphabet?"

Dad: "Y."

Son: "Because I need to know for my test tomorrow."

A cop pulled me over and saids, "Papers."

I turned to him and said, "Scissors. I win!" and then drove away.

A piece of gold walked into a Texas bar...

The bartender said, “Au, get out of here!”

My dog had a bad case of fleas. So I brought him to the vet.

The doctor told me, “I’m going to have to put him down."

I said, “What? Just because he’s got fleas?”

“No,” the doctor said, “because he’s so heavy.”