I told my kids, "Someday, you'll have kids of your own."

One of them said, "So will you."

I think the Rainforest Cafe takes the whole rainforest theme too far.

This one time I was sitting there eating my chicken tenders and they bulldozed 40% of the restaurant.

If an ant needs to dig a really big hole in the ground...

Do you suppose it could rent a Caterpillar?

Hipsters hate rivers...

Too mainstream.