Shipwreck Diary...

Day 1: Alone, doing well. Mentally Sound. Met a crab.

Day 2: I have married the crab.

Day 3: I have eaten my wife.

I found the meaning of life.

It’s on page 937 in the dictionary between the words lie and lifeboat.

I’ve just reset my password to DelicateLuggageHandler...

I was told it had to be case-sensitive.

A man went to his doctor complaining about terrible neck pains, throbbing headaches and dizzy spells. The doctor examined him and said, “I’m afraid I have some bad news for you. You have only six months to live.”

The doomed man decided he would spend his remaining time on earth enjoying himself. He told his boss what he thought of him and quit his job. Then he took all his money out of the bank and bought a sports coat, 10 new suits, and 15 pairs of new shoes.

Then he went to get himself a dozen tailored shirts. He went to the finest shirt shop he could find. The tailor measured and wrote down 16 neck.

“Wait a moment,” the man interrupted. “I always wear a size 14 neck, and that’s what I want.”

“I’ll be glad to do it for you, sir,” the tailor replied. However, if you wear a size 14 neck your going to get terrible neck pains, throbbing headaches and dizzy spells.”